Being happy! :)
Thursday, July 2, 2009 at 02:40PM The reason why we have planned our trip now, is so that we can attend the wedding of two very dear people who I used to read for. Finally after (I don't know how many years) they are getting married. I saw them through the beginning of their relationship all the way through and now it's great that Kev and I were invited to the wedding.
It's so nice when you see people go from the beginning all the way through, not to the end, but to the point that they were striving for, it's such a great feeling. I know that they are made for each other and we will be heading down to the wedding tomorrow ready for the big day on saturday!
Its' great that they have a happy ending, but it's not always an easy ride. Relationship aren't. Whoever put the thought into my head that as soon as you get married it's easy... well they need sense knocking into them. I'm sure thats what everyone believes. But in fact I feel you have to continue to try. Just like any relationship, even friendships. It's give and take.
Kev and I have had our tough times as have most people. Its never plain sailing, you get stuck in ruts and the the 'rules' change (if there were any rules anyway) but it changes.
Some people are ready to change in a relationship and then there are others that are not willing to change, and if they are together as a couple then you will find that they drift apart. Fortunately I have a hubby who is more open to change than I am... and thats saying something so I am very lucky but it's not easy.
I know that there are too many people ready to give up their relationships/friendships before even trying, but for me it's a commitment that I will flog until the end... I'm not sure why I am writing this because Kev and I couldn't be happier. We are a family built on trust, and we all have a great relationship which also includes Charlie. We are a family and bond that at the moment (and hopefully never) I can't imagine breaking.
I see it so many times, where people come to me because they need advice about their relationship and whether they should stay or go. I can't make up peoples minds and tell them what to do, but what does go through my mind, is that when we go into this realtionship, certainly a marriage we are going in it with our eyes open and knowing what is ahead. I look at my parents who are still together after 37 years and are happier now than they ever have.
However, having said that, you can't stay in a place of negativity and unhappiness. So if you feel its something that you can't salvage, you have to find a way to be strong, and move forward and say goodbye to your past, and know that you can achieve anything you wish. You can start again and pick up the pieces. I have had to do it, and it's daughting, but what you have to know, is that taking life a step at a time and not rushing forward with a snap decision you will be fine. You WILL survive. Yes it may be tough and difficult and heartbreaking but you CAN do it!
Time to be strong and stand up for what you want in life. Be happy and that is the most important thing.
Start with smiling today and have fun in whatever you do!
Have a great day
With love
Lisa xx
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Reader Comments (26)
Lisa I really needed this message from your blog today, I almost turned the computer off and something made me come back here. x
Once again Lisa your words were EXACTLY what I needed to hear this morning. Thank you for your insight. It is time for me to move on and let go of the past, and yes you are right it is not easy, but then it is not easy hanging on to what 'might' have been or staying angry at the person (or people) who changed your world either! It saps you of energy and by putting by continually staying stuck I am giving them my power. What for???? Today is the day for a new beginning.
Enjoy the wedding!!
I enjoyed your blog. So true. Relationships are lots of work, but worth it. I've been with my soul mate since 1965. We basically grew up together, fell in love, and got married. It's a journey that has peaks and valleys, but I wouldn't trade it for another one. Do you ever come to New Jersey? Have a great time at the wedding this weekend. July 4th was a great choice for a wedding date. They'll have every anniversary off to celebrate it!
Whoa...another Kaz...okay....
Anyway....while I don't have much experience as far as relationships (other than friendships) go, I know that this is important for everyone to think about. Thank you Lisa. :)
Kaz
Its so lovely when people are happy and find what they want that gives them peace.
I"m glad your happy x
I love weddings, especially when all I have to do is attend and be happy for the couple. Relationships do take work. My 26th wedding anniversary is in two days: The 4th of July! We were together for 7 years before we got married. This was a second wedding for us both and we didn't want to rush into things. So.......we took our time and here we are, 26 years later (33 if you count the total years together) and we are so far living.....Happily Ever After! It can work, but it takes work, too. Thanks for sharing, Lisa. I hope you got to wear the dress with the necklace that you talked about in Ilinois.....pictures?........peace....deb t/illinois
yup bin there done that several times just cos i didnt learn the first time i guess..
now i look upon that part of my past as learining something i sighned up for whilst on the other side.. Much worse things have heppened since that make it look like a walk in the park.. But im still here still fighting the fight much wiser and know that there are always others worse off (very true).
I have the ability to make any change in my life..im a victor not a victim
Hugs
Keith
Thee yorky Puddin
Hey Lisa,
Wow... your blog has me thinking and I warn you that could be dangerous...;).
Oh yes, relationships do take a lot of hard work and patience which I lack. I truly suck at relationships and I honestly don't know how anyone has stayed with me in the past. LOL Sorry, but I only say the truth. I was never the conventional type of gal and commitment did not come naturally to me. It felt so restrictive and if rules were part of the package, I ended up with heartburn. :) So when Karen came into my life, things changed for me. I loved her and made a concerted effort to make it work. We truly are the odd couple but it works after seven years. We have battle scars to show for each year we survived...just being dramatic. Been through so much together and I can honestly say that I am a better person because of it. I cannot imagine my life without Karen and cherish what I have now although it is not always easy because we are so completely different. It is worth the effort as long as two people continue to grow together and individually. Personally, I need a lot of space and cannot be smothered. Thank goodness Karen is aware of this and respects that about me.
You are so right that people give up too easily and take the easy road out. So many people think marriage is going to be a honeymoon all the time...not so!
Great blog and I almost feel like I had a therapy session! :)
Lots of hugs,
DreamSpirit
Lisa your the Wo-Man!!
I hope you got to give a loving toast to the wedded couple... As your great at speaking from the heart and bring forth such love....afterall, you brought them together.... so who would be better.....
hugs honey!!!!1
Thanks for this message Lisa. I believe this message was meant for me to read. I have been married for 5 years and I have fallen out of love with my husband due to his alcoholism. He is extremely negative and I am very unhappy to the point I hate coming home when he's there. I am getting strong and I am going to leave this place of EXTREME negativity and unhappiness.
Lost Love!
Great blog, Lisa!!! Have a GREAT 4th of July Weekend!!!! Much Love <3 <3 <3
My husband & I are happily married for almost 33 years, but like you said in your blog, we've had our ups & downs too but always worked them out. And yes, I understand too well about change ....my hubby too is the open one to change & I'm, unfortunately, the thick headed Cappi who has always had a hard time with change. Thanks for this very supportive blog (((Lisa)))
My husband & I are happily married for almost 33 years, but like you said in your blog, we've had our ups & downs too but always work them out. And yes, I understand too well about change ....my hubby too is the open one to change & I'm, unfortunately, the thick headed Cappi who has always had a hard time with change. Thanks for this very supportive blog (((Lisa)))
That is exactly right to Lisa. It is funny you are talking about relationships. I have just come out of one after 5 years. I let my past control my future and am now dealin with it, so thank you for the words of wisdom. It really helps.
THANKYOU Lisa, I was looking for this advice and here it is. Have a lovely weekend.
Jodie
Hi Lisa! Thank you for this blog! I am going through a VERY rough time in my marriage, and I don't know if it will survive, sadly to say. We are in counseling, it's only been a few sessions, but my God, it's so hard! You drag out all these emotions and pain you've been harboring, and everything comes pouring out. I hope it works out, but if not, I need to believe I will survive, and that I also deserve happiness. Things happen for a reason. I do't know if God is testing us or what, but it's scary. If counseling doesn't work, I guess it wasn't meant to be. Very heartwrenching! Anyway, I have vented, I felt this was the therapy I needed also,a blog like you posted. Such words of wisdom, and so much for me to think about. My spouse tends to hang on to the past, and sometimes I feel he is married to his resentment! Say a prayer, time will tell. Much love and hugs to you, Natalie/freespirit
Thank You. This is my struggle and the the feelings and thoughts I have had,exactly.
25 years, half my life next to this man I know I was supposed to be with. Madly in love for years and now,- it has died and I have had it on lifesupport because I didn't want to believe we would be better off apart than together.
Negativity that I used to see as a challenge, makes me tired.
Happiness isn't important when you share so much... Have to accept things change...
BUT I am better as as a healer and as a Reader when my energy doesn't get sucked out of me at home.
I am different, he is still the same, doesn't want to change or do anything new.
I've been sad for half year, I've been thinking about this for 2 years and must act now even if it is babysteps. I am full of care and love for him. Want him to be happy and able to move on. But his lesson is his lesson, mine is mine.
So in the trust we were meant to meet and be together but also to break up due to the many lifes we have shared,- this is the time....
A wedding is magical and joyous I still believe in love, it may be for a lifetime(several lifetimes) or some years only. We are all connected in a higher love too.
ENJOY
Lene
Great reading as always and so true...
Lol Kaz !!! 2 of you ??!! haha
Glad to be back on the site again, missed you all !!!
Sharon xoxo
Hi Lisa,
Compromise and communication seem to be key factors in a good relationship. (of course, adding some spice never hurts either!) Of course, hard economic times put a strain on marriages too, so it takes extra work to keep a marriage from breaking up in such a stressful environment.
You and your little family are young and have so many years of happiness and great times ahead! Enjoy!
Love and HUgs,
Cheryl
Lisa, your inspiration never sleeps.. Thank you for this blog again ;-)
What you say about relationships is really true.
Being a couple is so hard sometimes but people have to try real hard anyway.
However, as you say it, when it's too negative, it is better to go away from it.
When it deals with a couple, I really think people have to fight for it but a good "balance" is necessary between the two.
Sometimes I really believe it is SO complicated but anyway for me it's like science-fiction ;-) as I haven't been with a man for two years ;-)) however I am really hopeful for the future and I won't give up trying and believing that there is someone out there for me ;-)
And by the way, You and Kev are a great example for me, I'm sure you have your troubles but some much love and trust come out of your couple, this is wonderful !
A happy and lovely wedding to you two ;-)
Lots of love,
Lise
Hi my love, Again thanks for an excellent blog. Boy, my friend, you really hit home with this one. The only relationship I am having problems with is with my daughter and her husband. My daughter does not want me living with them but If I ty and leave theywill sue me. I talked to a lawyer and they can't because my name is not on anything. My only hope is that she will change and talk to me., I have a grandson and granddaughter to think about. Right now it seems hopeless but all I can do is live for myself and do wha I need to do for me. /The lease is for 2 years but I will be out by the beginning of the second year. I have to do what is right for me and not think about the consequences.. Right? So my love, this has really hit home as all your blogs do.
Thanks my love for sharing with us what you and Kev are about. You both are human and have your ups and downs like all of us.
Do enjoy the wedding this weekend. and a very happy 4th of July
Love ya always, Mary
Lisa,
I just wanted to say hello from Poland. Today I have heard about you for the first time and got really impressed by what a fantastic person you are. I'd love you to visit Poland one day!
As for the wedding - do enjoy it!
Regards,
Rafal
Lisa you could not have said it better.
When I was first married, I thought, "Well this is it.The beginning my adult life. All smooth sailing now because we are together." My parents were divorced when I was young (under 5yrs.old) so I didn't have a clue. I thought my world was ending when real life issues would come up. Because they didn't fit what I thought marriage was about. What I thought was "real, was the Ideal." NOBODY measures up to the Ideal. and 2 does not become 1. 2 is 2 and it takes love, dedication and patience to form a common front and some times, you have to agree to disagree and let it be. It has taken many years and some heartache to realize that real life is alot messier and you have to learn to pick your battles. But you know, LOVE is worth giving it your all.
As I was going to do laundry just a few minutes ago, This statement came to my mind.
"It is the essence of our spirit nature to love. We come from a Devine source that is pure love. And More than a gift, it is our birthright to make manifest this love on Earth. the highest and most holy of ambitions we are called to."
I will leave you with that.
In Love,
Kim
Why bother even entering into a relationship when it will ultimately end in disaster. Is it really worth it? I've been hurt so,so much,and I've hurt alota people. Not everyone is meant to experience love, especially not me. But hey, thats life I suppose. I've accepted my fate, and for those who has infact found their lifepartner, I'm truly happy for ya.